


Heathen

by donnarafiki



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And coffee, But no, M/M, and tea, and the pizza part is my own creation, draco cant handle it, harry is a heathen, its inspired by doctor who, or nardole to be precise, though i sadly do not own purple glitter scissors, tiny doctor who reference, would be cool though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 10:09:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnarafiki/pseuds/donnarafiki
Summary: Harry finally found out how to get Draco's attention....aka “Harry Potter you absolute heathen.”





	1. Chapter 1

“Harry Potter you absolute heathen.”

“What?” Harry looked at Draco innocently over the brim of his tea cup. After weeks of subtly trying to get his attention one of Harry’s methods had finally worked. If there was one thing Draco Malfoy could not handle it was people with no manners.

“Tea and coffee in the same cup? While it’s neither coffee nor tea time? Where you raised by wolves?” Harry opened his mouth. Remus and Sirius might be more guiding than raising him but…

“On second thought don’t answer that.” Draco had seen the error in his ways and was starting to notice the growing number of students staring at the pair of them. After returning to Hogwarts for his eighth year his main goal had been keeping a low profile and he cursed himself for talking to Harry.

He should have walked straight past him, should have continued to ignore the man as he’d done for the past months. But tea _and_ coffee? Mixed? Together?

Draco’s systems could not cope with such barbarian behaviour taking place in his direct vicinity.

“How are you supposed to drink it then?” Oh that fake innocent smile on Harry’s face would be the death of him. He just knew Harry was coaxing, teasing, no bullying him into starting a conversation. And Draco could only bite his bottom lip so long until he had to answer.

He hadn’t bantered with Harry or anyone else in ages. The few words they’d exchanged so far had felt like finally coming up for air after spending too much time underwater. His ears popped open and his lungs were filled with clean and refreshing air. His heart fluttered and his stomach was suddenly populated by a large number of butterflies.

Harry took another sip of his devilish drink. By the looks of it he actually found it to be quite tasty. 

“With me on a date at three o'clock in Hogsmeade next saturday. In separate cups you bloody moron.” Draco walked out of the great hall accompanied by the sound of Harry choking of his tea and coffee mixture.

Harry was definitely a heathen.

But he was bloody well going to be Draco’s heathen.


	2. etiquette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus are alive and raise Harry to be a prefectly fine young man. I do not know what this “Death” concept is you keep talking about, but please stop.

“Scissors?” Draco gaped at Harry as he pulled a pair of fluorescent purple scissors from his robes.

“Speak with two words will you? I’d hate to be seen with an uncivilized person. That would be atrocious for my reputation.” Harry thought he fell in love with Draco just a little bit more when the man opened and closed his mouth wothout making a single sound. He appeared to be unable to respond to his request in any other way than being utterly flabbergasted. Harry made a mental note that he ought to thank Sirius for buying him the painfully bright glitter scissors he was currently using to cut up his pizza. And to render Draco speechless it seemed.

“Fluorescent, purple, glitter scissors?” Draco’s voice sounded weak. The pizza on his own plate remained untouched. Despite Draco assuring Harry several times that _yes, this really is the best Italian in Great Britain, and no, I will not be seen near that despicable plebeian hut you usually attend with your godfather_ , he suddenly seemed incapable of mastering the art of eating. Three star restaurant or not, it didn’t look like Draco would close his mouth any time soon.

Harry laughed out loud when he saw the disgusted look one of the other guests pulled, and to piss them off even more he reached for Draco’s hand and pressed a light kiss on his knuckles.

“A gift from Sirius. He was afraid I might get lost among the various types of cutlery in a fancy place like this.”

“Of course.” Draco mumbled. Another look of horror flashed across his face as Harry pinned a tomato slice between the scissor blades and proceeded to put the entire thing in his mouth in one go.

“You’re insane. You’ve absolutely bloody lost it.” Draco took a sip of his wine, to steady himself against this barbaric use of kitchen utensils. When Harry proceeded to shove another bite into his mouth, dropping half of it back on his plate because the sight of Draco’s stunned face made him laugh too hard, he decided to give in. In one large gulp he knocked back the content of his wineglass.

Harry chuckled.

“Manners Potter.” Draco was glad to find that the wine had steadied his voice a bit, though he still didn’t sound nearly as angry as he should be. Maybe because he wasn’t. Watching Harry laugh was still one of the best things his eyes had ever had the pleasure of seeing, restaurant etiquette be damned.

“Or what? You’ll give me a detention?”

“Or I’ll introduce you to my mother etiquette lessons.” Now it was Draco’s turn to laugh as an expression of pure horror filled Harry’s face.

Harry was definitely a heathen.

But he was bloody well becoming Draco’s heathen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, so my homework wasn’t writing Heathen pt.2? Oops, my bet…  
> Kudos and comments would be much appreciated!  
> It would give me something to read as I'm laying in a ditch somewhere, homeless because I kept writing terrible Drarry fanfiction instead of actually working on my studies...

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Nardole From Doctor Who who served the doctor tea with coffee to “give it some extra flavour”.
> 
> Btw I just tried tea and coffee together and it’s really not all that terrible I promise


End file.
